The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus The Rest Of Us

The Sociopath Next Door is a nonfiction exploration of “sociopathy” (now referred to as antisocial personality disorder, or ASPD) written by psychologist Martha Stout, PhD. The book was originally published in 2005 and reflects commonly held clinical and public views of ASPD as an incurable personality disorder that isolates those who have it from the rest of society. Stout is a psychologist who works with patients who have experienced trauma, and many of these traumatic experiences were at the hands of someone with ASPD. Stout includes anecdotes about some of these patients in her book, demonstrating the theme of The Real-World Effects of ASPD. The Sociopath Next Door reflects scientific views held in the early 2000s and has the disadvantage of not being updated with current information. Stout’s aim is to argue The Importance of Conscience in Human Interaction and inform others about Protecting Against the Consequences of ASPD.

This guide refers to the 2006 Three Rivers Press edition.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of mental illness, emotional abuse, child abuse, child sexual abuse, sexual violence, and animal cruelty and death.

Language Note: This book uses the outdated, colloquial terms “sociopathy” and “sociopath” to refer to people with ASPD. These terms do not represent a formal diagnosis and are now disfavored among psychologists and psychiatrists because they otherize those who have the disorder. The terms will appear in this guide only in direct quotations or when discussing the book’s language choices. Otherwise, the guide uses the terms “ASPD” and “person with ASPD.”

Summary

Martha Stout, a psychologist who holds a PhD, explores ASPD through the lens of its colloquial name, “sociopathy,” with the goal of informing the public about the nature of ASPD, how people with this disorder can affect others, and what can be done about it. Stout claims that one in 25 Americans has ASPD, which she describes as a total lack of conscience. People with ASPD come from all backgrounds, genders, ethnicities, and classes, and it is likely that whoever reads this book has encountered one or many. Stout asserts that people with ASPD focus exclusively on their own needs and desires, lacking the same emotional capacities that other people have. They tend to be manipulative and at times abusive people who use others rather than forming meaningful bonds. ASPD is thought to be about half environmental and half hereditary in origin, with twin studies, attachment studies, and cultural studies providing evidence for this.

Stout presents hypothetical scenarios, case studies, scientific data, and historical examples to argue her points about ASPD. She tells a story about a man named Joe, who risks losing his job to feed his dog. Stout notes that people with a conscience celebrate and expect such altruistic acts, while someone with ASPD would not consider their dog’s needs over their own. The conscience, therefore, is what binds people together and what gives relationships meaning and functionality. The definition of the conscience has changed over time, with present consensus viewing the conscience as the result of evolutionary and social processes. Opposite to Joe is Skip, a man who used his wife and child to further his goal of financial success and who systematically abused employees. Skip failed to see how he was responsible for any of the pain he caused others, which is a common aspect of ASPD.

Even in people who do not have ASPD, the conscience is unreliable at times, and the impulse to obey authority can easily override individual moral judgment. People also manifest moral exclusion, which means that they will “other” certain people or groups, dehumanize them, and thereby justify any ill actions taken against them. ASPD also often goes unnoticed, as was the case for Doreen, who spent 14 years fraudulently acting as a psychologist and using her patients to exact revenge on coworkers. People with ASPD will use charm, seduction, gaslighting, and other manipulative tactics to further their goals and prevent themselves from being discovered. Stout also argues that people with ASPD will always take advantage of other people’s empathy and that anyone who exploits compassion should be met with caution. The origins of the human conscience are uncertain: It has a hereditary component, with evolutionary benefits for individuals and groups, and it is also an acquired skill gained through moral development and maturation.

Stout insists that people must protect themselves from those with ASPD. She cites the case of Hannah, whose father was arrested for shooting an intruder who was running away from the family home. Hannah spent her life trying to convince herself that her father’s behavior was normal for any father, but talking to Stout brought Hannah much-needed clarity. She realized that her father was sexually abusive toward students at his school, treated her and her mother like prizes, and would emotionally abuse them when they didn’t meet his standards. Hannah’s father turned out to be a drug dealer who had shot a man involved in the heroin trade. Stout explains that people can protect themselves by being leery of charm, flattery, and lies, while also reminding themselves that people are, for the most part, good-natured.

While ASPD may seem like an advantage because people with the disorder are not “limited” by morality, it turns out that the opposite is true. People with ASPD are often bored and restless as a result of needing constant stimulation and are likely to fall into substance use as a result. People with ASPD are likely to be hypochondriacs and highly fearful of death due to their self-centeredness, and their lives may be devoid of the meaning afforded by love, compassion, and joy. Stout presents a story about Tillie, who is elderly and alone because of her strong tendencies to harass, demean, and upset others. Tillie’s ASPD leads her to have a mundane life. Across religions, spiritual teachings, and science, it is agreed that the conscience is the glue that holds humanity together. Stout argues that the conscience is what gives life meaning and hope.